“use your head.”
Don’t get startled. That’s what I’d hear growing up in Nigeria
In Lagos, if you’re not being sharp, you’re left behind.
It was a statement that reminded anyone in the bustling city to be alert. Don’t let any mental energy go to waste.
At a young age, I already identified with these mental athletics.
Combine that with a Puritan Christian philosophy “idle hands are the devil’s workshop”
Boom! You know what that means:
don’t be lazy. stay active.
When I moved to the US, to study as an engineer, I sharpened my critical thinking mind.
As I funneled into the corporation, I heard the phrases:
“no free lunch” “speak up for visibility”
On the weekend, you take in some art and the artists fiend over sculptures like “the thinking man”
Kick back and read some philosophy, oh Rene Descartes said: “I think therefore I am”
Headed to business school, they yelled: “Take action, get feedback, do it again, growth growth, growth…up and to the right.”
Start a business: “you have to be consistent” “You have to grind” “business ain’t easy”
All these phrases. All these philosophies All this social programming
This is just a glimpse of a brief timeline of my mind.
Laced with incessant thoughts, actions, and doing.
You might have heard some of these too.
Can we talk about peace? Can we live?
The State of Doing
We have become human doings instead of beings.
Since the industrial revolution, our sense of time has been driven by clock time, and our worth is attached to how we utilize that time.
“Are you productive? That shows me you’re worth it.”
Over time, we are driven to the brink.
At the edge, we latch on to our phones and laptops to squeeze out the last bit of productivity.
Maybe this last tweet will take me over the edge. Perhaps this well-drafted email will help me shoot above average on my yearly review.
When you sit down on your own and settle in, you get restless.
Fidgeting to do the next thing.
Your mind zooms to the past, replaying past scenarios “I should have done this” “I should have said that”
Then your mind puts your thoughts on sports mode and charges into the future.
Vrrroooommm….
Creating make-believe movies on what you need to do in the future.
Then it hits the break, sccrrrrrr…
Back to the past.
I’m dizzy just writing this.
It’s a mental version of the Fast and Furious movie.
Ludacris would tell you to Stand Up and give yourself a round of applause.
All this leads to is stress and discontent, adding to the growing global unhappiness in the world.
Slow it down fam.
There is a joy of being that’s always there to tap into.
Most of us get value from doing things. It’s the way we’ve been programmed.
There is an awareness that you can tap into that is limitless.
You don’t have to go anywhere to get it.
It is not on the outside. It’s within.
It starts with an understanding that you are not your thoughts and breaking away from identifying with that thinker.
When you become the watcher of the thinker, then you experience the joy of being.
The measure of this comes from the amount of peace you feel within.
You are not the thoughts you think you are. Real joy exists beyond your thoughts.
The Joy of Being
I’m re-reading one of the most influential books that I’ve read.
More than 12 years ago, I was introduced to a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. There was an older engineer at my company that just kept talking about it.
At first, I thought I’d just read it to keep up with what he was saying. He used vague words like ‘ego’ and ‘pain-body.’ I thought it was a bunch of new-age “tree-hugging” stuff.
When I read it, it sparked a process in me: paying more attention to the present.
I picked the book up again last week and going through it is a reminder about the joy of being.
When you connect with this presence that comes from being, you’ll recognize that you are not your thoughts.
You’ll detach from repetitive patterns that distract you from the beauty of the present.
You’ll realize that you have an internal world that has all you need.
Here are 3 ways to tap into the joy of being.
1. Identify the thinker
“Enlightenment is not only the end of suffering and of continuous conflict within and without, but also the end of the dreadful enslavement to incessant thinking. What an incredible liberation this is”
~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
“Damn, I messed up.” “Do I have a meeting now?” “I should have told that person off when they cut me off in traffic?”
“That’s what I do?” “That’s what we do?”
“I am analytical.” “I’m an artist” “I’m an engineer”
If they gave Steven Spielberg access to your unconscious mind, he would make countless movies. You’d have won multiple Oscars.
Have you ever questioned the narrative in your mind? Who’s running it?
A lot of times, we start to believe that we are those thoughts.
Unfortunately, those thoughts are playing on their own.
Your brain is doing what it knows how to do best – trying to predict the future.
This sense-making machine in your cranium is trying to serve you and keep you alive.
Unfortunately, we end up serving it.
Bob Marley was right when he said “Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free up our minds”
The path to liberation is to become observant of the thinker.
2. Be observant (find the gap)
The greatest artists and innovators have two things in common.
Curiosity and being observant.
The best in any field, know how to notice things. Whether they do this in silence or by interacting with a lot of people.
They are good at noticing.
Experience the joy of being by being observant.
Once you start to observe the thinking mind, all you have to do is notice the gap between each thought.
That’s all.
When I started meditating in 2015, I was on the road towards revelation.
I started out with 4-minute meditations. My mind would swing from thought to thought. I just closed my eyes and watched.
With time, the thoughts began to slow down.
Once in a while, I’ll get some silence.
Ahhhh….that’s nice.
Then my thinking mind would find a way to sneak back in
“Oh, this is that silence they talk about huhn? Cool. I wonder how long I can make it last? Oh wait, is this a thought? Ahhh, look at you. Come on, silence, why hath thou evadeth me? Can you even do this? Haha, meditating rookie.”
You see. The thinking mind is sneaky.
Always looking for a backdoor to be the most relevant thing in the room.
Bring awareness to your thoughts. Make no judgments.
Just notice how they come and go. When you do find that gap, just be there.
Feel peace. The only measure of this exercise is the peace you feel within.
The longer you do this practice, the more you can tap into this state of awareness.
Over the years, I have increased this to a daily 22-minute practice.
There is no end goal here besides the practice.
Find the gap between thoughts and tap into the pure awareness of being.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it be ones very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly – you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.”
~ Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
3. Pay attention (slow it down)
My birthday just passed a few days ago.
I usually don’t celebrate my birthday. This time around I did reflect on my new age of 37.
I still remember when I just turned 30. I was lit at a friend’s wedding. It was January 2017 in Lagos.
Purple lights throbbing. Small chops going around. Because when the Remy’s in the system….
Anyway, I had a few people who came up and said “Hey today’s your birthday right? Happy birthday. It’s the big three O.”
I remember it like it was yesterday.
7 years have passed since then.
The older I get, the faster time goes.
Do you feel the same?
When you were a child time seemed to drag on. One day would feel like an eternity.
But as you get older, 5 years, a decade, snap! Just zooms by.
A lot of that is because as you get older, you get into routines that put you in auto mode.
As you chug along in mindless routine:
You eat while on the phone. You drive to work with no attention on the road. You sit in meeting after meetings Not paying attention to how long you’ve been sitting!
This is how life passes us by.
Time stretches out for children because they are still fresh. Everything is still a wonder.
Everything is new. It’s worth paying attention to. They are fully immersed.
As you observe the thinker and pay attention to the gaps between your thoughts, another way to experience the joy of being is to fully immerse yourself in the now.
Listen to music and pay attention to all that’s going on in the arrangement. When you wash your hands, experience the sensation.
When you are in conversation with your family, enjoy the sounds of their voices and be there fully.
Keep your attention in the present and reclaim your time.
Final Thoughts
Find yourself by connecting with the joy of being. Observe the thinker and immerse yourself in the present moment.
There is more to life than always doing.
Just be.
