Name Your Resistance Instead
I was in Sales Navigator, coming up with a list of prospects to reach out to.
I looked at the filters, confused.
I had already chosen the right ones. Business owners, North America, companies with less than 50 employees, with a focus on technical companies. I added some mutual connections to make it more relevant. I had a decent sized list.
But I just stared at it, even though I knew what I had to do next.
There was that little voice in my head asking: “What if they don’t want your services. Are you wasting time on this untested niche? Perhaps there’s another niche that you’re better off serving.”
Then I remembered something my editor for my book said, when I had similar questions about my book. She said, “Let the reader decide.”
“Let the customer decide.” I thought to myself. That thought got me unstuck.
It reminded me that the resistance I faced in sales was the same that I faced when I wrote.
Sales resistance is writer’s block for entrepreneurs
What writers call, “writer’s block,” sales people call….well there’s no name.
I call it sales resistance.
Just like that moment when I had to do sales for my business, I felt the same roadblock. I found myself wanting to do other things. Check email. Refresh my feed. Confirm whether Arsenal won, after 22 years.
I was doing everything but the work in front of me.
Just like the block that stops writers from writing.
Because underneath it all, writers and sales people are doing the same thing.
They are selling.
Writers sell ideas. Sales people sell solutions.
They deal with the same fear: “Will anyone buy this?”
On a deeper level, we’re asking: “Will my work matter?” Concerned that no one will care. So we delay, we perfect, we distract ourselves.
The fear is the same. The resistance is the same. And the path forward is the same too.
The fear heightens the pressure we put on ourselves.
When all we are doing is presenting the reader (or customer) with options to decide from.
And interestingly, when we present our ideas or solutions, we beat our biggest competitor. That competitor is the recipient’s inability to decide.
So just showing up with that intention, and you’re already adding value.
But I’ve found that I’ve let the fear of the outcome ruin the party. Resistance ruins outfits before we even get out the door.
When writer’s block and sales resistance show up, you begin to think there’s something wrong with you.
There isn’t. It’s just resistance.
Resistance happens when you apply for a new job, decide to dress differently, or act on your fitness goals. It’s there whenever you want to grow.
Just like writing and sales, you’re selling a new version of yourself, one that’s still in formation.
Opening others, and even yourself, to your imperfections. This causes an internal paralysis that first starts manifesting as a tightness in your belly or chest.
Most of us don’t like this feeling but it can actually be a good sign.
It’s a clear signal of the direction you have to go. Move in the exact opposite direction of where resistance is pulling you.
But if you don’t acknowledge resistance, it will dominate you.
It will lure you away from what you want in life. You will seek distraction, procrastinate, and wait until it’s all polished, perfect, and pretty before you show up.
Just like how I spent my time watching YouTube videos instead of locking in and doing my sales tasks.
What I gained in short term ease, bubbled up later that morning when I realized I could have been a lot farther if I just did the work when it was apparent.
Resistance never disappears.
You will not get through it by trying harder. More will power is not the solution.
So how do you move through resistance? I’ve found that being specific is the key.
Erase resistance with specifc
Here’s something I’m learning on the practice ground – the people who continuously grow are very specific about naming what they do.
Being specific – what I call getting granular about your actual activities – changes everything.
Over the years, I’ve forced myself to write without the internet for at least 15 minutes. It’s no longer as intimidating. Now, I’m doing the same with my sales process. I have it scheduled on my calendar each day.
But what does “doing sales” mean? What does “writing” mean? It’s ambiguous. The reality is that writing is an art of interlocking activities – thinking, researching, drafting, note-taking, walking, editing.
The sooner you call out the actual activity, the easier it is to get to.
The same with sales. It’s a combination of list building, researching, outreach, follow-ups, discovery calls, proposals, objection-handling.
When you know the process, it’s easier to sit down, be specific, and do it for a stretch at a time.
Here’s what I’m experimenting with around specificity, I’d invite you to try it too:
Getting task-specific. I’m breaking tasks down into its granular, specific parts. This allows you to name, narrow down on what needs to be done, and get to it without overthinking.
Then I label the task in the most active way possible, and then schedule it. Use active verbs to name it “Start research on…” “create a list of….” “post a video on ….” If there isn’t an active verb at the beginning of your task, it might not be specific enough. Put this on your calendar.
Treating the task as a prompt with a time-constraint. This is why the active verb is useful. You are just getting a reminder to go do that specific task. With writing, I call this “AIS” – ass-in-seat.
Sit down, set a timer for 30 minutes, turn the internet off, and do the work.
Lastly, When I sit down for a task, I’m making sure I’m spending 60 – 70% of the time doing the hardest of all the tasks. Which is the hardest? The one that would most likely make you question if what you’re doing is worth doing. The one that exposes your imperfections.
For writing, it’s writing those imperfect sentences and jumbles of words in silence. For sales, it’s “sending DMs that might not be responded to,” or “doing cold calls.”
Let go of the outcome because as long as you’re showing up, you’re already adding value.
Closing Reflection:
I wish I had recognized my resistance sooner.
That’s the whole point of this – the moment you name resistance for what it is, you stop fighting yourself, and start getting specific about the work. The system works because you’re no longer negotiating with yourself.
You’re calling out the actual thing that needs to be done and getting to it. Without giving resistance a chance to fester too long. As soon as I named mine “researching 50+ prospects,” I got to my 60-minute task right away.
So here’s a question I have for you today: “What’s one task where resistance shows up most?” Get specific about it – break it down, name the hardest part, and do 20 minutes of it.
Yours truly,
Nifemi
P.S. What’s one task where resistance shows up most for you? Reply with the task and I’ll share what I’m testing to move through it.
