And the 13-Minute Fix I Learned Over 180 Weeks of Writing Weekly
180 weeks.
That’s how many times I’ve sat down to write this newsletter.
I’ve written about the same topic with different titles. And the most surprising thing I’ve learned? No one cares as much as you think. It’s actually the most liberating thing I’ve discovered.
Just like this week, it was another struggle. Another week, questioning what I wanted to write. I almost wrote about something easy. Something I knew would land. Some weeks, the topic is clear and I know exactly what I want to say. Unfortunately that only happens less than 10% of the time.
Most times, like this week, I start somewhere and then end somewhere completely different.
I used to take it so seriously, spending hours crafting what I thought was the best story or perspective.
But after doing this every week for 3.5 years, I’ve realized something.
No one really cares. They only care if it’s helpful.
Most people spend most of their time thinking about themselves.
This sounds selfish.
But if you were thinking about sharing something with the world – an idea, a business, or product. This selfishness might seem like a tough hill to climb, but it is actually liberating.
Because to stand out, you just have to do the opposite.
One of the psychological gaps that stops people from sharing their ideas is the spotlight effect.
Thinking that everyone is thinking about you.
They are not.
When I published my first book, I went to a friend’s party in San Francisco. As she introduced me to her friends, she said “he wrote this book about music and balancing his priorities in business school at Stanford.” Her friends were like “oh that’s great.” I fumbled through a correction but it didn’t land. Most people had moved on.
I walked away thinking, that’s not what the book is about. What happened to Fela Kuti, Bob Marley and the Wailers, the inequality, the use of music to build empathy and innovate.
She had taken two pages from the intro and said that’s what the book was about.
I later learned she was thinking about running a business and had gone to business school herself.
That was the part of the story that resonated with her.
Just 2 pages out of a 264-page book.
I used to get mad at that before. People who just read the headlines or the intro of something that took years to put together.
But that’s just the reality.
The maker gets to create. The audience gets to choose.
If you create for yourself, then the audience’s choice doesn’t matter. However, if you create for connection, the audience’s choice matters the most.
No one really cares about what you’re building unless it brings value to their lives.
I used to put out things no one wanted. I was more concerned with what people thought of me than with what they actually needed
You might be thinking, “if everyone is thinking about themselves, is there any point to all this?”
There’s one simple thing to do to stand out.
It starts with thinking about your audience first.
Using a brief switched it around for me.
The 3-minute Audience Brief
The best entrepreneurs and writers have empathy for their audience.
It is not immediate or natural all the time.
It’s built through repetition.
It starts by getting out of your own head and caring about what’s going on on the other side.
When I write every week, I start with answering three questions in a brief.
How do I want them to feel?
What action do I want them to do?
What’s the one thing you want them to remember?
I do this before I start writing. I keep it at the top of the document to remember the goal of my writing.
Here’s what that looked like this week:
How do you want them to feel? Empowered
What do you want them to do? Reply
What’s the one thing you want them to remember? No one cares about what you think is important. They only care about what’s important to them.
When I draft, I write for myself. When I edit, I polish it for my audience. I might drift a bit from the initial prompt but it’s a guiding post. Then I spend most of my time trying to figure out how this will be helpful to the person reading.
Because if they don’t click on the email, they don’t read.
I started this newsletter wanting to list everything I’ve learned from 180 weeks of writing. I initially thought I’d just create a list of the top things I’d learned. Then I started writing, and focusing on one main insight became more important. Every morning, when I edited the newsletter, I looked at the brief to keep me in line.
I ended up somewhere completely different from where I started.
Thanks to the brief, I stayed connected to the intention I made from the audience’s point of view.
Otherwise, I would have gone on my own tangent.
Whenever you are building something, drafting a memo, or even an email, spend the first 3 minutes with an audience brief.
It keeps the other person front and center – before you drift back to thinking about yourself.
Closing Reflection:
After 180 weeks of writing consistently, I’ve reduced the pressure I used to put on myself.
Now I don’t get bogged down on having the “right thing” to say.
Sometimes people want to hear from you, sometimes they don’t. I used to take it personal but learned that that was a weird sense of entitlement to people’s attention. The reality is that most people are concerned with what’s going on in their lives, and rightfully so. If you want to get to those people, you actually have to care and think about them.
So here’s the question I have for you: “What would change if you really thought about the perspective of the person you want to help? What will change in your approach?”
Yours truly,
Nifemi
P.S. When did you last write something – an email, a pitch, a post – and rewrite it entirely from the reader’s perspective? What changed? Reply and tell me.
