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7 Quotes From Ryan Holiday That Will Reshape Your Life

Growing up in Lagos, I witnessed a lot of fights. On the streets, on the way to school, at school, at parties.

It can get rowdy in any minute.

My favorite to witness involved the self-titled “big man.” You know the type, loud as a motorbike, who wouldn’t soil his shirt in a street fight.

Whenever they get disrespected, realize the growing crowd is on their side, and they have created a good distance from their prospective opponent.

That’s when they yell out the infamous words that probably every Nigerian has heard in their lifetime: “Do you know who I am?”

No bro. We don’t.

I’ve seen this play out many times. Even in less aggressive ways when no one is taking off their shirt to fight. In meetings, at work, in social settings.

People silently saying: “Do you know who I am?”

I find myself doing the same sometimes. Makes me wonder, who we are all fighting?

The Big Bad Enemy

We fight with people that oppose us.

We argue with people that have different views.

We almost lose our minds when people don’t see things the way we see them.

Then we point fingers:

“Only if they got it. This country will be a better place.”
“Only if they have a little more sense, then this company will progress.”

Then we go spend time with friends and family and before we end the night, we’ve picked up another fight.

Then we storm off to our rooms and vent to our partners but before you know it, land mines have been stepped on – relationship shrapnel everywhere. Then you slam the bathroom door, look in the mirror, and realize that you are at war with yourself.

The reality is that your real enemy is not the opposition, your picky family member, or your disgruntled partner.

The real enemy is a lot closer than you think.
The real enemy is your ego.

Your ego will do all it can to sabotage your efforts. It will set up all the different traps for your pride, intelligent illusion, and self-centeredness to self-sabotage your evolution. The sooner you recognize that the most important battle to win is the one within, the better you will be at owning your responsibilities.

No one is fighting you, your ego is the real enemy.

7 Quotes From Ryan Holiday’s Book “Ego is the Enemy”

Recently, I listened to Ryan Holiday’s book, “Ego is the Enemy.” It’s been a long time since I read or listened to a book and immediately started over from the beginning.

For the last three months, this book has been on a loop. The message resonates so much that I listen to it as a reminder, especially whenever my ego is tripping like Nikki Giovanni.

When I’m having a bad day.
When I get offended by the action of another person.
When someone takes credit for my work, I go listen to this book and I immediately calm down.

It reminds me that what I’m really battling is internal.

When you acknowledge your ego, you become better at understanding yourself, you have more grace for others knowing they are going through their battles, and you take full responsibility in how you approach your daily life.

Here are 7 quotes from the book that really resonated with me.

1. “A man’s best treasure is a thrifty tongue. Talk depletes us. ‘Talking’ and ‘doing’ compete for the same resources.”

Do more than you talk.

Talk gives you cheap dopamine. It makes you feel good. It gives you a sense of progress when none has really been achieved besides the vibration of air molecules that dissipate past your lips to tickle the air drums of others.

Talking requires energy.

Save that energy to actually do what you said you would.

Don’t let your ego turn you into a talking agent.

Take action.

2. “Impressing people is different from being truly impressive”

Our egos let us focus on the wrong things.

Instead of trying to “be something,” go “do something.” Are you the person at the meeting always trying to talk to get visibility with the higher-ups? Are you more concerned with impressing people instead of building something that’s actually impressive?

When you build it, no one can question it.

It speaks for itself.

It doesn’t need a talk track.
It doesn’t need a team spotlight.
It doesn’t need you to get their attention.

Do something with purpose.
Don’t try to “be a title.”
Be a doer.

3. “You can’t learn if you think you already know. You can’t get better if you think you are the best.”

Always be learning.

The moment you think you know it all, is when you tap out of the game. You might as well tell the referee to stop the clock, signal to your coach that you want to leave because there is nothing else for you to learn.

This is how a lot of people approach life. In their minds, they have “arrived” not knowing that there is no destination point.

In order to evolve past the rigidity of your ego, you have to be an eternal student.

There is always something to learn, even learning to teach is a challenge.

Find someone to learn from.
Find someone to teach.
Find a peer to spar with.

Be a student.

4. “We only hear about the passion of successful people, forgetting that failure holds the same trait.”

Don’t follow your passion.
Build your craft instead.

“How did you build this amazing thing?”
“Oh me? Well, I just followed my passion.”

You’ve probably heard this so many times by the talking heads on the big stages. But do you know who else doesn’t make it on those big stages? People that followed their passion but failed.

And there are a lot of those going around.

One thing about successful people is their consistency. 

Consistency requires patience and level-headedness which is completely different from the highs and lows of passion. Your ego will use your passion and enthusiasm against you.

Keep it cool.
Build your craft.
Remain patient.

5. “The person who clears the path ultimately controls it’s direction just as the canvas shapes the painting”

Have you heard about Vincent Van Gogh?

Famous painter, well known for his art, and his lifestyle (and his severed left ear).

But do you know about Pere Tanguy? Not as known. Well, he was the person that provided Van Gogh with art supplies and even bought some of his first pieces of art.

How about Pablo Picasso?

I’m sure you know about him. But what about Henri Sennelier? Not as much huhn! But he’s the one that innovated the oil pastel sticks for Picasso paintings and many other artists that came afterwards.

You see, your ego wants to be in the front. It wants to get the immediate shine. But perhaps you are not supposed to be the well-recognized painter but the person that provides the tools and the canvas for the artist to paint on.

Perhaps you’re not supposed to be the rockstar entrepreneur but the investor or coach.

Your ego wants to shine but it’s fine to take the canvas strategy.

Be in the background.

Create the canvas for others to shine.

6. “A person that thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts”

Stop overthinking.

At some point you will have to turn your thoughts into tangible work. Your ego wants to keep you in a loop. It tricks you to think you need a perfect plan to act. It scares you with ridicule of perceived failure.

In reality, there is no failure besides the failure to act.

Think before you act.

But don’t just think.

7. “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. Make it so you don’t have to fake it.”

Produced work is your only proof.

Your ego will do all it can to pull you away from the work you are supposed to be doing. It will distract you, make you overthink, edge you to procrastinate, and fill you up with self-doubt. 

There’s only one solution, go the opposite direction of this resistance.

Do the actual work, regardless.

Don’t build a reputation on what you are about to build, don’t drink your own kool-aid, don’t get deceived by pride, just patiently build and consistently bring your thoughts to reality.

Like Rihanna.
Do the “work, work, work.”

No one is opposing you.
Your biggest opponent is within.

Recognizing your ego is half the battle.

Yours truly,
Nifemi

Who is Nifemi?

Hey I’m Nifemi of NapoRepublic

I help busy people fit in a creative practice to bring to bring order to their reality and help them live a more meaningful life through writing and reflection.

Sculpt your story

Know thyself, build a second brain, and unleash your creativity with writing. All in one journaling, note-taking, and dots-connection method that fits into your busy life.