Busy for the sake of being busy.
That’s the dark hole I found myself two weeks ago.
My last two months have been interesting to say the least.
I stopped working with a company that I worked with for a year. Paused work with one of my major clients. Found myself back at the drawing board, trying to figure out what my point of leverage was. Took the break as an opportunity to try different things.
I got funky and experimental like Thelonious Monk on some piano keys in the 60s.
So, I’d been posting on LinkedIn, every single day, for almost two years.
I felt my content was consistent but perhaps boring. So I got into “lab testing” mode. Tried different things to see what worked. Put images of myself in my posts (which I never do, funny enough they drive the most engagement).
Posted videos, sketches, post-it notes.
I wrote Linkedin posts that were repurposed from my newsletter. Wrote some from scratch. I drafted others by copying the style of other digital writers.
The process was time consuming.
“But that’s what happens with experiments, they are not supposed to be efficient.” I said, comforting myself.
At the same time, I started building out a new business offer. I created new campaigns, reached out to people. A few friends. Some new acquaintances. Get on calls with some. Got ghosted by others. Got rejected. Moved forward with a few.
Wooh! The marathon continues.
I turned discovery and research calls into a report. I sent out loom videos to ask people to get the report. Sent out about 150+ ‘inmails’ on LinkedIn. Booked ONE call. “Got to keep going.” I told myself.
Tested out my newsletter on substack over 3 months.
I tussled with the decision to switch my 3-year-long newsletter to a new format. So I published in two places each week. I saw more traction on Substack. I decided to move to make a shift.
But then came the question: “What’s the rebrand? What’s the message?” “I got to figure it out.”
I got invited to a conference in San Francisco by a founder of a company I want to work with. Booked a flight. I went straight to the conference with my luggage, hoping to have some one-on-one time with him. Coffee almost spilled on my white shirt while I typed on my computer and listened to talks about federated learning. The person I wanted to chat with was on stage the entire time. I finally got a chance to speak with him for five minutes at the happy hour bar while he sipped on his gin and tonic.
After two months of straight, consistent tinkering. I straight up, just felt confused.
“Nothing is working...Nothing is working…Nothing is working.” Played like a J Dilla loop in my head.
But is that true?
“Action distraction” is as bad as “analysis paralysis”
The world shoves perfection down our throats.
The CEO that figured it out.
The young entrepreneur that just raised money for their startup.
The personal brand genius that launched the product no one knew they needed until they had it.
Survivor’s bias.
We only hear of those who make it. We celebrate the outcome of success. Not the failures and lessons learned along the messy process to get there.
Because of this, most people never start.
A lot of high-achievers fall into this sinking boat. Anchored and crippled by analysis paralysis. They overthink every decision, trying to get it perfect on the first go to escape the gravity of being left behind.
But look all the way to the right.
There’s another side of the coin.
It’s “action distraction.”
That’s when you’re just acting without intention. You overcame the resistance to start. But then you’re just doing…doing…doing. This eventually leads to burnout.
That’s where I found myself a few weeks ago: tired, unmotivated.
Now, I’ve experienced this a good amount of times through my entrepreneurial journey, so I know it a lot better now.
I can get ahead of it.
The required action is very simple: You just have to pause and be still.
Practicing measured reflection
It’s alright for it to be messy.
It’s alright to have one good day, then a bad day. A good week, then a bad couple of weeks. But being busy for the sake of being busy. Nope. Not worth it.
When you want to grow, you have to acknowledge that change is a hard thing, and you can’t grow what you don’t measure.
As you act, the question then becomes: “What’s your measurement?”
Because what you measure will probably not be the same metric as the rest of the world.
As long as it’s yours, then you are good to go.
The only way to not get lost as you act is to pause and reflect on the thing or things you’re measuring.
Find your own measurement.
Do 90-day sprints.
Track weekly.
For a business, one true point of measurement is $$$ in your bank account.
Not promises.
It’s not: “let’s talk next week.”
Not another: “that sounds interesting, we would really need that.”
Don’t dull yourself. Those are all cool stories. The real measurement is cash that you can use to pay your bills.
But the money outcome sometimes is out of your hands. The process, on the other hand, is in your control. You can take charge of the steps and repetition to get you there.
The next point of measurement that I use is: “the number of high-value conversations” I’m having.
That’s sales calls, meetings with people in your network, talking to people that reach out.
How do you get into those conversations?
You either reach out or they come to you. (I know, genius approach right!)
If you’re reaching out, that’s DMs and emails. If they come to you, that’s because they know how you can help. The most scalable way to show how you can help is packaging and sharing your expertise on social media.
On social media, what’s the measurement? Impressions and reactions?
Yeah, but that’s just quantitative. The number of people that have come to me, saying: “oh I really enjoy your posts.” I respond: “I didn’t know you saw them.”
Here’s the reality: don’t be fooled by quantitative data alone.
Do your best, at all times. You never know who’s watching.
Use the reverse gap of happiness
I remember learning about this mindset shift a few years ago.
When you’re running a long race, you can either focus on how much longer you have to run or reflect on how far you’ve run. It’s called the reverse gap. I don’t do a lot of long-distance running but when I used to run around the lake in Oakland, the reverse gap really helped.
This applies to any goal.
It’s so easy to focus on what you want to achieve, forgetting all you have already done. It’s the reason happiness eludes a lot of us. We are constantly on the chase, forgetting how far we’ve come.
It’s the reverse gap of happiness.
Over the last two months, when I look back, I realized I had:
- Published a new website.
- Built and refined a new offer.
- Created a deck to send out to prospects.
- Reconnected with numerous friends and colleagues.
- Created a pipeline of business that will supercharge my business next year.
- Increased my ability to reach and provide value to people online with my content.
- Finalized a newsletter rebrand and gained clarity from years of writing.
- Started interviewing people for my next book.
- Got reconnected with my mission.
- Started making music again.
It’s so hard to see this when you are lost in the mix, when your actions begin distracting you.
Give yourself some credit. You have already come a long way.
Keep practicing.
Because the practice never stops.
Yours truly,
Nifemi
P.S. I work with a handful of early-stage founders and SMEs as a fractional growth partner, helping with positioning, GTM, and execution sprints when you need it.
If you’re building something and could use a thought partner who gets both the strategy, execution, and the psychology behind it all, reply and let’s talk.
