It’s a sort of faith hardly spoken about in a world of glamor
Federico, with his Italian accent, said: “Let’s talk in a few weeks, Nifemi. Things are slowing down here.”
I never spoke to Federico again.
That was March 19, 2020.
When I hung up that call, I had no clue that the world was going into complete shutdown. Well, I did, but I was in complete denial because I thought I was about to close on a business deal to significantly help build traction for my business. I was oblivious to the fact that everything I knew and all the plans I had were about to change.
At first, I thought it would last two weeks. No. I didn’t close another business deal for nine months.
Talk about a Mike Tyson blow to the face.
Even worse, no one realized I had “Lost my job.”
For six months, I slowly lost faith.
Until things turned around that made me realize that faith is built in the process, through daily decisions and actions.
Faith builds in the process not the outcome
Faith isn’t given. It’s built and nurtured.
When I was at the end of 2020, no business, with my wedding coming up, I thought I was done. I spoke to a mentor about throwing in the towel. I wanted to hedge my bet “maybe get a job and then keep doing the business on the side.” He said, “Nah. Put a deadline on it, and go sell.” For four months of the year, I just kept selling, getting rejected. I had no business until I got married in December.
When I came back in January, I closed the biggest deal I had ever closed in my entire life.
It’s so easy to lose faith when things are not going according to plan.
But I’ve learned that the more you nurture it, by taking chances and sticking to your process, you can build up faith or at least, something that rhymes with it. That’s the courage to do something with the hope of the outcome being favorable.
Faith, I’ve learned, is just the decision to keep dialing even when no one picks up, keep writing when no one is listening, keep asking when no one answers.
The biggest challenge is that we can’t tell what the future holds.
That’s what was happening with my business. The hardest part wasn’t the rejection and revenue that had flatlined – it was not knowing when it would end.
That dread of the future can numb you out in the present – the only time that is real, where you can actually do something about it.
Just like how I was about to give up during 2020. Things weren’t working out. I’m glad I didn’t because the business eventually turned around once the world opened back up. My focus on what I could control – the pipeline of sales calls – is what got me through.
All that was done in the present, detached from future outcomes.
What I’m learning is that in order to build faith in the outcome, you have to build your ability to let go.
Let go of immediate gratification.
Building Process-driven Faith (detachment)
Here’s what I’m learning on the practice ground:
Progress can take longer than you expect.
The ones that succeed just keep showing up and have detached from the need for immediate gratification.
I now do this as a daily practice.
I did this exact practice while writing this newsletter, I didn’t know where to start. I chose the topic while waiting in a doctor’s reception room. Then I planned it out on Tuesday, at which I didn’t really know what I was trying to get at. I wrote the draft a few minutes before a sales call. However, I’ve done this 178 times now, and I knew I would have something worth sharing by Saturday.
That’s the faith that has been built through practice.
And that newsletter is what you’re reading now.
The more times you put into something, you are increasing your chances of the thing happening.
In other words, every newsletter I didn’t write is a reader I never reached. Each sales call I skipped is a deal that never happened. Every post I never published is a prospect I would never be top of the mind for when they consider solving their problems.
I wanted the immediate gratification on Monday and Tuesday but I waited. That’s how you build faith.
It’s small acts that repeat and compound.
Here’s something I would invite you to try:
Ask: What’s one thing you could do for 15 minutes today without needing to see the result?
Go do it for 3 months. The goal is to keep the daily streak, that’s all.
Closing Reflection:
Federico never called back. But I kept showing up anyway.
A lot has changed since then. He has a new job. I stopped my first business, got a job, quit that job after a year, and started a new business. Life is just a sequence of changes. Whatever you’re building towards – goals, dreams – they might seem far off. You just have to keep going towards them to live a life that actually makes you feel alive.
No one can tell what tomorrow will bring but you can choose to show up right now.
So here’s the question I have for you: “What outcome are you gripping too tightly? What would you do today if you let it go?”
Yours truly,
Nifemi
P.S. If you read this far, please reply with one word: what did this letter mean to you today?
