The night-time constraint I use to beat productivity addiction
A few weeks ago, I was in Paris with my wife.
We were in line at one of those fancy stores.
You know the type – the ones in which they only let two people in at a time. I was eating a cookie from one of my favorite bakeries, just a few streets down, in the 2nd arrondissement. The air was a nice crisp, a little moist, some construction on the side. Paris fall vibe.
I received an email on my phone.
I checked it. No big deal. Then I started talking about working. As we slowly moved through the line, I began questioning a new business offering that I was confident putting together two days ago. The more I talked about the strategy, the offer, the price, something in my head started yelling “you missed the boat on that one.”
We were now about five people away from the door. I became quiet, my mind was racing, the tension had moved from my belly to my throat.
My wife asked: “You good?”
I said: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”
In my mind I said, “I need my laptop. I need to update my offer. I need to email the client.”
My fingers were restless. I needed to type on a laptop keyboard to quell the anxiety that had risen.
“Monsieur, you can go in.” That attendant at the door said.
That’s when I remembered I was in Paris, having a unique, perhaps once in a lifetime experience.
I learned something deep that day.
Work is another way to avoid the present
Most modern professionals have to stay busy.
“Busy. Busy. Busy.”
The soulless response to avoid boring office conversations and human connection.
Packed color-coded Google calendars – the new badge of honor.
Doing without actually driving an outcome is the default mode.
A lot of times we forget why we are doing what we do until we put our heads up from exhaustion, wondering what life and work is all about.
Perhaps, that’s just the consequence of being in high-performance environments.
But then, we go on vacation and find that it’s difficult to unplug.
A few days on that long-planned trip with your family, you’re checking on slack messages to make sure nothing’s missed, no “low-level task” is being unnecessarily escalated, and your precious projects are moving forward so you can pick them right up when you get back.
The corporate warriors out there know what I’m talking about.
This might also be cultural, particularly in America, where new conversations progress into “so what do you do?” within a few sentences. I felt this pressure when I had a job. Surprisingly, I felt it even more when I quit to run my business.
When you’re a business owner, you’re always on.
Time off?…Nah fam. Who’s going to close that deal?
Weekends?…Nope. Catch up on emails and pipeline management, my boy.
8 pm. Dinner for who?….Schmucks, maybe. Got to prep content for the rest of the week, G.
I’m realizing that this need to stay busy starts early. From schools with their homework and practices. But it’s not just school. Culture and religion. I remember growing up and hearing this statement over and over “idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”
When you hear that, you say “Hell no to Hell. I’m going to find work to do.”
No wonder ‘business’ literally comes from the words ‘busy’ and ‘anxiety’ – we’ve been stuck in this pattern for centuries. A lot of 21st century professionals are still stuck in the 18th century, staying busy and anxious without moving their occupation, business, or craft forward.
In a world where your work starts where your laptop sits, this leads to busyness madness.
But if you are not gaining traction on your goals, you are actively distracting yourself. The need for control and staying busy is actually masking something else.
It’s the reason I later appreciated not having my laptop with me that day on the line at the Paris store. Because I wanted to default to what I know, what I was taught to do and value – get busy.
When what I needed was to tap into a skill that is hardly taught in schools – emotional regulation.
The three-task system that stops busy work
I never emailed that client.
After about 30 minutes, the sense of anxiety dissipated. Two days later, on the plane about to take off from Charles de Gaulle airport, I got a message from the client: “Paid, ready to get started.”
This one worked out, and I just had to let it be.
Here’s what I’m learning on the practice ground: you have to actively get out of your own way.
Those emotions you feel as the work is piling up will always be there. You will always question whether “just one more email” will do the trick.
But more importantly, how you manage your internal state is the most important skill you can build in an era where you can literally be at work 24 hours a day.
I find that breathing exercises, actual exercise, sleep, journaling, and meditation really help. Above all, developing a systematic way to stay consistent with these is priceless.
However, one system that has made me more intentional with my business is writing the top three tasks that I must do the next day, just before I go to bed.
This forces me to really think about what would really move me closer to my goal. You activate your mind the night before. By the time I wake up, I’m not reacting to the demands of the world – and its endless information. I’m actively building what I believe to be important.
Why three tasks?
The constraint forces clarity.
I’ve found that when I have a long running task list, I’d list everything doable in a day, and get a false sense of gratification, ticking down the list even if it doesn’t really move the needle.
But with three tasks, it forces some constraints that make you really clarify your goals for the next day.
Once you’re done with those tasks, anything else is an extra. You don’t have to feel anxious, once you have completed your three intentional tasks for the day. This might sound easier than it is but it actually requires a lot of discipline.
Practice Focus:
It’s easy to get addicted to staying busy.
Most of us don’t know anything else. From school to career ladder to building impactful businesses, keeping yourself occupied is part of the invisible contract we sign with one another even when we occupy ourselves with anxiety-inducing tasks over and over again.
You can choose to be more intentional so your tasks move you towards your actual outcome. Limit the number of tasks you do each day and let it be.
Yours truly,
Nifemi
P.S. I work with a handful of technical founders and creative entrepreneurs as a fractional growth partner.
If you’re building something and need a thought partner who gets the psychology behind the strategy? Hit reply to this email and let’s talk. (If you’re reading this on Substack, reply in the comments)
